Holy shit I pulled something serious! Everything was dandy as candy this morning. Rolled up late out of bed, hopped into the shower, got spiffy, reached for my towel and AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHGHABHBSda;shij[gpi avj[rgqipj[vnif[nq0i2j[0v!?!?!
I sat down in the tub with the towel in my mouth so the screams wouldn't wake the neighborhood.
I limped to wrk and was just one big effing ray of sunshine. I couldn't check my blind spots when I was driving, which made for an interesting time for the drive to and from work. I was able to at least scream in good belief I wasn't being heard in my car.
I crawled, literally, back intot he hosue and set up base camp in the living room on top of the heating pad and swallowing at least 1,000 MG's of pain pills and they haven't done SHIT!

Right now I'm saddling up to head to Marion's house so I can grab some Percocet and Mebto....something. She just had back surgery a few weeks back and has PLENTY of the stuff left over.
"What's great about the Percocet, darling, it doesn't make you give a shit!"
"Oh common, Marion, you already know I hardly give a rats ass most of the time."
"Oh yeah..."

If I had pot, this would have been resolved HOURS ago.

It's unconstitutional to ban literature. Wether you agree with it or not, you cannot legally silence someone for an oppinion.

Rob them. Merry christmas, now you have to get new shit!! YEAH! Greedy bastards...

We all die alone, no one dies with you. Well, unless you're an Egyptian Pharaoh. But they're not really keen on the idea of 'dying with you' persay....

I HATE Xmas.
I ADORE Christmas and Yule.
The reasons are rather legitimate. I hate the capitalization of the holiday season. And I also hate the use of "Happy Holidays." If you're offended by Christmas or Hanukkah, get a life. Nothing else is happening but the Jews and and the Christians having lovey love love. If you're an Athiest and you get offended, just kill yourself. Life is full of religious events, so just get over it. If your not offended, props to you for being a tolerant person who understands that other people believe what they want to believe.

I actually don't like having to put up with other peoples Xmas bullshit a month and a half before the actual holiday starts. That's what rubs me raw to a point I want to get violent. I'm not a Scrooge. I think it's perverted how people take something that's sacred and meaningful for a large percentage of the planet and turn it into an excuse to capitalize on everyones good times. If you tack up santa posters and xmas tree lights so you can have an electric penis showing game, by all means, keep being a tool.

Xmas brings out the worst in everyone. It's always "What am I gonna get? Get this for me! OMG how and I going to afford..." This season creates a record amount of debt for the american family so they can somewhat create an image of wealth and glory for their child, a child that doesn't even understand what wealth is. If the kid can't see his play mates are black and hispanic, wtf are we doing ingraining a wealth status into their mind? Who gives a shit that the Power Wheels costed too much so mommy can't pay off her mortgage? Where is the line when consumption goes beyond the margins of error in provision of day to day lifestyles? People have killed themselves over this! And it'll only get worse when the time crunch comes about the 20th to 24th of December.

Being on my own for so long has reprogramed what my expectations are of myself. I've been thankful with anything I get. Year and years ago, I would pray for anything but clothes. Now, as I rip open a box from my mother or father, I just silently keep in my head "please let it be socks, please let it be socks..." Last year I asked for new tires on my car. Lets face it, I'm just not in the means to expect extravagance! No one else should either. Live within your means! Instill into your own family that feeding this social concept that we need to be better and better when I fact we just need to keep things the same.

Despite the views the world has on the man, the message provided by the Pope each year should be taken to heart. The season is about togetherness. It's not about material worth, value or wealth. It's about our families getting together and sharing the time they have. Life is too simple and short to play keep up with people who are more fortunate. Treasure what you have, love should be all that this year is about.
Why? Because there's an awful amount of hate in the world.

 You really have to applaud anorexics for their discipline.

I wish I had their nuts.  Instead I'm a pussy for butter and carbs.

  Last night I bought tickets for the Cranberries Tour when it hits Vegas on the 3rd of December!
STOKED!!!!
I have been a fan of the Cranberries since I was 8.  And was really upset when they broke up my second year of high school.  But now I get to relive this epic part of my life.....LIVE.  
I just, wow, I get to go!  I get to go.
FLOOR SEATS I GET TO GO!!!!

No, I'm not excited....

 If we're lucky, history can be made today.
And then I could finally get the help I need; like glasses, skin care and cancer screening.
I need this to pass, Nevadan's need this to pass.  America needs this to pass.
We're bellow Cuba in healthcare.  It's time things changed, and it better be today.

Frankly, I couldn't see myself living in a country where the people we choose to speak for us, don't.

 I get annoyed about something stupid, which we talked about earlier.
 I let it consume me for a week or so.
It becomes so loud I can't see past it.
I lose it.
break up.
I feel satisfied for maybe a day or two.
I brag about it the whole time like I killed the king of Scotland or something.
I realize I'm alone.
It hits me a week later that I think I ruined my life.
I mourn my life for a month or so.
I meet some goof who i think is great.
I find something wrong that's consuming me.
it pissed me off.....

Rather, rinse. repeat generally. 
I need a therapist for my "love" issues alone.

 Like all the other 'ground breaking' series of programs it runs, Glee will die halfway into or just directly after it's first season.  Face it, Fox has only had about 15% of it's programing actually stick to the public for even a whole season.  They just don't know how to invest in a good idea.  They passed up Peter Jackson, after all.
Let me tell you how glee will seek its own doom.  They get a good group going, make a wonderful montage that will send them to compete with the big schools, then the underdog wins it all.  The end.  How do you go into a second season with a win at the end of the first after months of painstaking buildup?  
You just can't!  It's impossible!  
Some are saying "maybe a another rag tag gang."  Oh just what people need to see, year after year of the same thing.  Then again, enough of America tunes into American idol expecting the same thing, so who knows.  Glee just might survive with the help of the generally uneducated moronic America at the helm.  Then again, Fox managed to get Family Guy and King of the Hill off the air which still manages to baffle me.  There're just idiots in charge of it all.  Well, it is Fox so why am I not surprised.

In Annapolis, Maryland, there's this remarkable bakery, restaurant and coffee house called 49-West.  Every spring, 49 makes this lovely cake called the 'Heaven and Hell' that’s a combo of angel food, devils food and is held together with a peanut butter pâté and covered in marble chocolate shavings.  Yeah, SKEET!! 

In the fall, 49 host a collection of small, unknown folk artists and singers that tour the east coast.  They usually keep the doors open until about 2am for those patrons who enjoy the atmosphere with a few too many glasses of wine.   Along with a few other businesses on New Year’s Eve, celebrate First Night: Annapolis, which is by far, one of the finest I've ever had on a New Years in my life. All year long, the café of the bakery acts as an amateur gallery to some of Washington’s up and coming art majors.

The one thing I adore the most about 49 West is that it's never the same, but always familiar.  The food is always great, but simple.  The menu changes constantly, but the familiar taste of homemade mayo and Munster cheese dominates the pallet from season to season.  The tarts are all about the only thing that seem to remain formidable troopers in the pastry case that seems to about as old as the building (about 1675, or so says the manager).

The coffee stays an immutable presence and aura in the entire building. The smell mixes with chocolate and lingers all the way down to the cathedral circle half a block away. Speaking from years of being a Starbucks barista, I still manage to get thrown to the curb over the cappuccinos that their latte masters seem to chuck out at phenomenal beauty and grace.

There’s not much more I can really say other than to just go and fall in love like I did. The address is simple; it’s on 49 West Street, in Downtown Annapolis. It’s close enough to the docks to enjoy the scenery but not so deep that parking won’t be a pain in the ass. Trust me; it’s really a pain in the ass.

This movie is what inspired me to be an Anthropologist.

 I noticed a few in the past years and I just wanted to get one going for myself.
The list of 100 things I hope to get accomplished in the next 3-5 years of my life.  I think it'd be nice to a put a purpose on some things, a strain on others, and hopefully get me to accomplish some things I just know I wont be able to do when I'm 30.
Here's a start....

1. Get into Columbia, or at least get a 'Thanks but no thanks' letter.
2. Write a book on how globalization is ruining our planet on a cultural level.
3. Be fluent in French, Spanish, Italian and Turkish.  I think it's only fair on the last one.
4. See the Olympic Games in London.
5. Hear my echo in Hagia Sophia.
6. Make Poutein more than once.
7. Move to Montreal.
8. Actually getting to New York before Montreal.
9. Finally walk away from Starbucks.
10. Go to Paris
11. Go to Niece.
12. Touch a part of the Berlin Wall.
13. Learn the Piano.
14. After the Piano, learn the Organ, and play Toccata in D-Minor by Bach.
www.youtube.com/watch
15. Learn the Cello. 
16. Make bread more than monthly.
17. Weigh a healthy 150-155 lbs. (About 68 Kg)
18. Run farther than 60 yards without my heart exploding. 
19. Have a bonfire on a beach.
20. Get a decent laptop.
21. Have a semester where I exceed a 3.5 GPA
22. Live on my own again.
23. Push my car off a cliff.
24. If I sell it, scratch #23.
25. Spend one weekend every few months in NYC with Erika, Aaron, Ben, etc.
26. At least try Ethiopian food.
27. Get the basics of the three books in my head on paper.
28.  Find an agent if the need persists.
29.  Get an Internship that WONT fall through.
30. iPhone!
31. See the leaves change in Vermont.
32. Start to not feel weirded out when 'Marriage' and 'Family' get brought to the table.
33.  Come to terms with the fact I'll be 25 in less than 36 months.
34. Swim more often.
35. Stop saying 'Fuck' every other word!!
36.  For realsies, stop smoking.  SRSLY!  Will stop.  Honest.
37. Sew more often.
38. Drink tea instead of Coffee.
39. SUNY Buffalo, I will be going!
40. Spend my New Years in other places than New York and Vegas.
41. Become a solid fixture in both of my brothers lives.
42. Patch things up with my mother.
43. Paint more.
44. Start seeing a Therapist.  I'm not really crazy, but there's LOADS of things I know I want to explain to an unbiased figure.  Just to make sure I'm not as bad as I think I am.
45. To let my fathers wife, Heidi, know how much I love and appreciate her for everything she has done for him.
46. Read more and watch TV less.
47. Get a decent bike and use it.  The using part is important. 
48. Making more and more leaps of faith.
49. Keeping my life more organized.
50. Start using a damn planner!
51. Remembering to use the damn planner.
52. Keeping things clean.  I'm kinda not so tiddy...
53. Be more honest with people.
54. Never stop being direct and blunt!
55. Stop feeling guilty.
56. To do things and to stop expecting something in return.
57. Not be selfish.
58. See the South.
59. Be in touch more with my Aunt and two Cousins in Texas.
60. Watch more foreign films and indies.
61. Finish the entire Smithsonian Museums. (I've only been in four...there're about 17)
62. Smell the roses.
63. Stop thinking in the manner of 'I want' and start thinking in the manner of 'do I really need...?'.
64. Know all my presidents.
65. Know my constitutional laws and amendments.
66. Learn peoples phone numbers so I'm not totally screwed whenever I get my phone stolen...again.
67. Invest in an accountant.
68. Get my money in fucking order.  For god's sake, Justin.  I need to get my shit together.
69. Make Pasta from scratch.
70. Learn to knit.
71. Try more beer!
72. Become a regular at a Buddhist shrine.
73. Spell better :-/
74. Use old school cameras.  And I mean glass exposure old.
75. Sail more.  This makes me the happiest :D
76. Get more pedicures.  No, they're not just for girls.  My heals get nasty from all the flippy floppies.
77. Buy more colors other than brown, blue and black.
78. Have cologne.  lol, seriously!
79. Have a garden.
80. Be more organic with my eating.
81. Eventually get to eating animals that have two legs or less.
82. Get a cat.
83. Go fishing with my dad more.
84. Start a podcast.
85. Make my own clothes once in a while.
86. Finally shut down the last little bits of racist in me.
87. Use Couch Surfing more often.  So should you!
88. Accept things without an intention of changing it.
89. Follow my own advice for once.
90. Understand Libraries are great places and I should go more often.
91. See an Opera monthly. 
92. Get more classical music instead of 'booty shakin' music.  It's about a 90/10 balance.  Sadness.
93. Travel by Train.
94. Take the phrase 'It's not the destination, it's the journey' more literally.
95. Just to remember that it really isn't as important as I think it is.
96. Collect old books about the most random subjects.
97. Collect more sidewalk furniture.
98. Keep sitting front and center in class.
99. Come to terms with my past.
100. Let someone love me.

I'm not going to lie, I'm feeling pretty proud of myself right now.
This week I recieved my transcripts in the mail to bring with me to Onongama next Friday when I visit my dad in Syracuse.  Drum roll please......3.17 GPA bitches!!  It's a B+ if you don't really know, but after four years of on and off college experiences, walking away from all of it with only 1 D isn't half bad.  "Passing is passing" is what dad would say.  In the process, 34 credits acquired.
Today I got my grades back from the MASSIVE exam in my Political Science class and, again drum roll.........91/100!  A-!!  YAY!!
I feel like I'm on top of the world right now.  I knew this class was going to be hard, but at the same time, easy.  It makes no sense to you maybe, but it's some sense for me to know that I'm not 'getting by' anymore on my school work.  I'm making a hard effort and it's finally showing.  I really know I can actualy do this now.  I've been stressing so much over this and it just seems I'm actually MUCH smarter than I think I am.  But I guess it goes with my personal philosophy on sucess: Assume the worst, hope for the best.  Well, mission accomplished!

Now, hopefully, with a 3.17 GPA, I can slide easily into Onongama with no issues.  I'm also wondering if I should just straight up apply to SUNY right now with this GPA.  It could help at least get the enrolement taken care of so I can slide right into the stream come next August.  I am super relieved with all of this coming out right now.
Those of you who are in my super-duper inner circle (Like, four people) know that I like to have a year ahead of me.  I like to make plans on a logical level and just hope to get about 70-80% of it accomplished in about 6 months.  I also like to fulfill the promise to myself that if I want it, I'll get it.  One way or another, it will be mine!  Well, so far so good, I'd say.
I'm very proud of myself for making it this far on my own two feet.  I'm also very, VERY thankful that I have a family who has the ability to support me and provide me this chance at a much better life in the end.  I wouldn't trade it for the world!

...well, maybe my mother. :P

I wont this bad boy yesterday for about 7 bucks.  After shipping, $14.50.  Yeah, SICK!

My hope is to one day solve at least one of the worlds problems before I die.
I plan to use my degree for good. 

 living in real the world makes you want to do something for it.
That's why I wanted to become an anthropologist.  The world needs more of us.

If you assume, you're not thinking about the outcome.
So shut up and listen.  That's all, just listen for once.  It's amazing what you hear.